So there I was, standing in the middle of my kitchen at 7:43 a.m., holding my car keys… and a slice of cold pizza. 🍕🔑
Was I leaving for work? Was I making breakfast?
Honestly, even I wasn’t sure anymore.

That’s when it hit me:

I’m not a functioning adult.
I’m just a bunch of adult memes stitched together, pretending to have my life together. 😭

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☕ It All Started With Coffee (Obviously)

I woke up late — classic.
Tried to make coffee but forgot to put the mug under the machine.
Result: Coffee all over the counter and one very awake cat. 🐱☕

Mini-Meme Moment:
“Adulthood is just cleaning up after yourself… over and over and over.”

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🚗 The “Driving to Work” Struggle

I finally got in the car, ready to face the day like a champion.
Spotify on blast. Sunglasses on. Confidence at 3%.

Then I realized…
I had no gas.
Like, negative gas. My car was running purely on “vibes” at that point. 😵‍💫⛽

Mini-Meme Moment:
“When your gas tank is empty but so is your bank account.” 💀

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📅 Work Was No Better

Got to work 18 minutes late and pretended it was “traffic” (it wasn’t).
Spent the day answering emails with the enthusiasm of a potato. 🥔📧
Meetings? Smiled, nodded, and had absolutely no idea what anyone was talking about.

At lunchtime, my coworker asked if I had any “weekend plans.”
I said yes — crying horizontally and eating snacks like a gremlin. 🛋️🍿

Mini-Meme Moment:
“Me: I’m gonna be productive this weekend.
Also me: Spends 7 hours deciding what to watch on Netflix and watches nothing.”

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🌚 Nighttime: The Final Boss

Got home.
Immediately changed into pajamas from 2014.
Sat on my couch like a broken Roomba, scrolling memes on my phone, thinking:

“Yep. This is peak adulthood right here.”

Mini-Meme Moment:
“Nothing hits harder than sitting in your towel for 45 minutes after a shower, questioning your entire existence.” 🛁📱

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😂 Moral of the Story?

If you ever feel like you’re failing at adulthood…
Relax.
You’re just living the dream:
✅ Cry a little
✅ Laugh a lot
✅ Scroll memes at 2 a.m.
✅ Repeat