🗺️ When Your GPS Has a Sense of Humor and Zero Direction 🚗😂

It was supposed to be a chill weekend road trip. Just me, the open road, and my trusty GPS guiding me to a cozy cabin getaway in the woods. Keyword: supposed to be.

I plugged in the address. My GPS said, “Estimated arrival: 2 hours and 15 minutes.”
Adorable. So naive.

The first red flag? My GPS pronounced “Boulevard” as “Buh-loo-varrrr-d,” like it was trying to summon ancient spirits.
I laughed.
Big mistake.
That was its warning shot.

30 minutes into the drive, it told me to “Turn right on Pineapple Avenue.”
There was no Pineapple Avenue. There was only a cow. And it was judging me.

Then came the detour.

“Rerouting due to traffic… saving you 5 minutes.”
Except that 5-minute detour turned into a dirt road that looked like the setting of a horror film called “Wrong Turn: GPS Edition.”

I’m bumping down this unpaved nightmare while my car’s suspension is begging for mercy, and the GPS cheerfully says,

“You’re doing great! Continue for 18 miles.”
EIGHTEEN MILES?? What am I, in a Ford commercial?

At one point, it told me to “Make a U-turn… if you dare.”
I swear I heard it giggle.

Desperate, I checked the map manually and realized I was 40 miles off-course. I screamed, “WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STICK TO THE MAIN ROAD?”
The GPS responded with silence.
Passive-aggressive silence.

When I finally got back on track (and back in cell service range), it proudly announced:

“You have arrived at your destination.”
I had not.
I was at a sketchy gas station with a handwritten sign that said “We sell worms.”

Eventually, I gave up and called the cabin host. They calmly gave me old-school, turn-left-at-the-big-tree directions. I followed them and arrived without incident. No reroutes. No cow detours. No gas station worms.

Moral of the story?
Sometimes technology is not your friend. Especially when it’s a GPS with a sense of humor and the navigation skills of a toddler in a corn maze.

Now I double-check everything.
And I carry a paper map.
Because once you’ve been betrayed by your own car… trust issues hit different.

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